Been a busy week!  So on Saturday I was asked to participate in a pilot spec shoot for a proposed BBC America television series.  A “pilot spec” is basically a “pitch”–a sample of what the show would look and feel like – usually these are very crude and done on the fly.  This one, however, was done first rate.  It was shot at the People’s Improv Theater on 24th St in NYC–a beautiful space and facility.  Multiple camera set-ups, live studio audience, production assistants making sure I was comfortable (nobody usually cares if I’m comfortable)–great stuff.  The host of the pilot was an Australian TV personality I’ve worked with before at Gotham Comedy Club, Josh Zepps, who’s got a charming Hugh Jackman-like presence and look.

The show itself was a “game show” type of current events format.  There were two “teams” of comedians–and all of the other comics had multiple TV credits as well as appearances on late night talk shows like Conan O’Brien.  Little ‘ol Mike Motz seemed a bit out of place with these other more accomplished performers–I guess they really needed a bald guy who wears bowling shirts…

As for the taping itself, it went very well–lot a fun and I got in a couple of really good zingers.  Hopefully something comes from all of this, but even if it doesn’t, it was a great experience and I got to do a bit of networking.  Some might wonder why getting on TV is so important, I mean, it wasn’t like I was doing Stand Up comedy.  Well, one of the most important things, if not the most important, in this business is notoriety and “fame” – that’s how you make it happen.  Here’s an example:  at Caroline’s Comedy Club in NYC this weekend, Ron Artest will be performing.  Yes, Ron Artest, the basketball player.  Is he funny?  Probably.  Would he be performing at Caroline’s if he wasn’t a famous basketball player?  No way.  Will Caroline’s sell out each show he’s at?  Most definitely.  It’s all about the fame….

So the quest for TV time continues.  Today (Wednesday) I had an audition for an A&E project called “I Love You To Death”.  Ever watch one of those documentary style crime shows where the actual person involved is talking about events while an actor is shown “doing stuff” over the real person’s narration?  Yep, that was what it was for–I auditioned for the role of a detective involved in a murder case.  What were they looking for?  Bald, 40′s, and facial hair.  Check, check, and check–hope I get the part!

And when I walked out, there was another audition across the hall–this was for TV Land; a promo spot.  They asked me if I’d like to audition.  All I had to do was laugh on cue.  Fortunately, I have a very distinctive and goofy laugh which made the casting people laugh while I was laughing.  I guess that’s a good thing – we’ll see.  Keeping my fingers crossed…

-MM

Attempting to Make a “Viral Video”

We all love watching viral videos, anything from a cat playing with dolphins, or a slingshot backfiring and hitting a woman in the face with a watermelon, or just some poor slob falling off a motorcycle and onto his face. What seems to be most common about these videos is they aren’t staged, meaning their popularity is somewhat of an “accident”. Then there are the other type of viral videos–the ones made purposely like that atrocious Rebecca Black “Friday” video. Many times when videos go viral, people make parodies of them in hopes that the popularity of the original video will rub off onto their own creations. This is what me and a few of my comedy friends tried to pull off with our parody of “Twin Baby Boys Talking to Each Other.”

My friend Edie Katz saw the original video and decided to write up a parody, with some help from Lou Stone Borenstein (you might recognize him from our parodies of “The Sopranos” and “The Big Lebowski”) and they needed to find two male comics willing to be in the video…while wearing diapers, of course. Their first call was to me (big surprise), and their second call was to Paul Murdock (“The Dude” from our “Big Lebowski” parody). After some scheduling conflicts, we found some time last Saturday and a friend to lend us her apartment for a few hours (thanks Jessica!) and we were off to work. The first little stumbling block was seeing that parodies of the original video had already been done, notably by Patton Oswalt and Michael Chiklis.

“Damn professionals with their big budgets and resources”, I said.
“Damn real comedians with their ability to do things in real time”, remarked Paul.
“Damn famous people with actual talent and name recognition”, sighed Lou.

Oh, well–we had come this far (all the way up to 74th street) so we had to figure something out. Paul and I changed into our diapers, which were surprisingly comfortable and chic, and went to work. Edie supplied the scripts, and Lou manned the camera. We decided on making our “babies” British, as (apparently) that hadn’t been done yet. After many takes, and much laughing in the middle of the whole thing requiring us to start again and again, this is what we came up with.

The things we do for a laugh…. enjoy!

Twin Baby Boys Having a Conversation–30 years later (British Version)

Newspapers are old news, so like most people I get new news from the internet. And rather than going to some boring old newspaper site, I like to go to news aggregate sites like the Drudge Report, because they have a way of giving you a sensational headline that sometimes has nothing to do with the actual story.

So, I’m going to take a few recent headlines from a news aggregate site, print them, then give you the first thing that pops into mind…should be fun!

Headline 1:
“Saudi Prince: Maybe women should drive”
My Response: NOOOOO!!!!

Headline 2:
“Blind Man keeps his old Guide Dog after it loses it’s sight”
My Response: The blind leading the blind…

Headline 3:
“Simon Cowell: American Idol is a better show now that I’m gone”
My Response: Everything is better now that you’re gone

Headline 4:
“Brooklyn High School Girl Attacks Classmate with Acid”
My Response: Tune in, Turn on, Drop out, and watch your face melt off…

Headline 5:
“Safety Equipment Secretly Removed From Airplanes”
My Response: Removal discovered when planes rubber band engines snapped.

Headline 6:
“Hillary: U.S. should wait for the world to act”
My Response: The no plan-plan…genius!

Headline 7:
“Michelle Obama sports 1000 dollar handbag”
My Response: Inside was two lipsticks, a pack of Saltines, and some Taco Bell hot sauce

Headline 8:
“UN alarmed at huge decline in bee numbers”
My Response: US alarmed at huge increase in B-movies

Headline 9:
“Man jailed for creating 35 websites to insult ex”
My response: Putting a flaming bag of dog poop on her front porch and ringing the doorbell is a lot easier

Headline 10:
“Woman enters courthouse with monkey in her bra”
My Response: That’s no monkey, that’s my lawyer!

Until next time….

-MM

Movies:

Here’s the new releases for the upcoming week:

Red-Action comedy features Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren and Morgan Freeman as retired spies targeted for death.

Nothing says “funny” like Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, and Morgan Freeman playing retired spies.  If they’re targeted or death, why retire in the first place?  To me, “retired” means you don’t have to work anymore and nobody’s trying to kill you.  I think I’ll save this one until it comes out on cable

Nowhere Boy-Aaron Johnson stars as the teenaged John Lennon, with Kristin Scott Thomas as his Aunt Mimi and Anne-Marie Duff as his mother Julia.

Do we really need to see another movie on John Lennon?  Plus, I never heard of any of these people in the movie, so I’ll pass on this one.

It’s Kind of a Funny Story- Zach Galifianakis, Lauren Graham and Keir Gilchrist in a comedy set in a psych ward.

Hasn’t this movie already been made a dozen times before?  And Zach Galifaganipganop always plays someone that should be in a psych ward.  Stick with The Hangover.

Waiting for Superman–Director Davis Guggenheim ( An Inconvenient Truth) turns his documentary lens on the U.S. public school system.

If I want to watch a documentary, I’ll watch the History Channel for free, thank you very much.

Jackass 3D- The only one of them worth seeing in a theater.  Watching Johnny Knoxville get bounced by a bull in 3D is going to be awesome. 

Sports

Well, the baseball post season is here and it looks like the Yankees will win it all.  Again.  Pretty pointless.

Football season’s started and as usual you really don’t know who’s going to be good until about week 10.

The biggest story I’ve seen is the PBA wanting to institute instant replay.  Instant replay for bowling?  I can see the use for when my friend Smokey accuses me of crossing the line, or to replay the time my friend Jimmy the Deli Manager got slapped in the face by Doris the bowling alley waitress for his lewd pick-up lines, but other than that–seems like a waste of time.

Fashion

“Fashion week” has come and gone and nobody but the metrosexuals and Frenchies even noticed.  I won’t notice until they bring back “The Regular Guy” look made famous by Rodney Dangerfield in the classic comedy “Easy Money”.  Until then–who cares?

Culture

Saw two things in NYC over the last few days that made me shake my head.  The first was “Comic Con”, some big comic-book convention or something.  Whole bunch of nerds walking around dressed like Harry Potter and whatnot.  I can see that when you’re in your 40′s and have long since given up, but these were young guys-late teens, early 20′s–they’re giving up that soon nowadays? Hey, I was into Dungeons & Dragons when I was like 14 years old–back when it was cool– but I straightened myself out.  These kids need a good talking to.

The second thing was a long line of pre-and adolescent mostly asian kids lined up for blocks with “Happy Birthday Toshi!” signs.  What is a Toshi?  So I checked it out–apparently  Toshi is some Japanese singer.  So I don’t know what’s worse, asian nerds lining up for some singer’s birthday, or teenagers with there whole lives ahead of them dressing up as comic book characters–you make the call.

Politics

Why do politicians insist on throwing out the first pitch of baseball games when the can’t throw anything except taxpayer’s wallets into the toilet bowl?  The latest disaster comes from Charlie Christ of Florida at a Tampa Bay Rays game.  Hey Charlie–here’s a hint:  They’re laughing at you, not with you.

That’s all for now.  In my next entry, I will detail my visit to get acupuncture.  Hurt my neck and back a few days ago, and they only thing that stops the pain is walking around with my left arm raised like half a surrendering Frenchman.  I’ll let you know if acupuncture is a scam or the real deal.  Until then–

Bottoms up!

With Charlie Sheen being the highest paid sitcom star on TV right now, it’s really kind of fascinating to look back and remember all the great movies in which he’s acted over the years as well.  What’s your favorite of his biggest hits?

(One note about this poll, it turns out that Charlie’s been in a lot of movie series.  Single titles here represent every movie from the series.)

Just came across this cool website you should check out. It lists hundreds of movies in which the characters play darts or the plot has something to do with the game. It’s
http://www.crowsdarts.com/movies/movies.html

On Monday I promised to tell you the greatest football movie of all time. This was after the unfortunateness that occurred here in the Lounge. Here are a few of the films that we “discussed” on Sunday.

Jerry Macquire
I only mention this one because the guy who broke the mirror during the brawl on Sunday was trying to convince us that JM is the greatest football movie ever. No. Simply no. It might be the greatest chick flick that involves football ever – even the women were saying, “Dude, it’s a chick flick!” – but it barely even ranks as a football movie. I mean, when the most memorable line is “you had me at hello?” C’mon!

Rudy
Who doesn’t love a movie about the underdog making good? I definitely recommend this one to anyone who likes football. It’s a good one, just not the greatest.

The Waterboy
Now, I’ll admit that there’s a soft place in my heart for any movie with Henry Winkler in it. But why did they have to give so much screen time to that mouth-breather, Adam Sandler?

Brian’s Song
Okay, this movie has its place on the list. Who doesn’t tear up just a little at this one? But it’s not really a football movie, is it? I mean football is certainly integral to the main character but it just doesn’t really cut it as a sports film.

The Longest Yard
Football movie, prison movie and Burt Reynolds movie – what, are you kidding me? It simply does get any better. (And if you think I’m talking about the Adam Sandler remake then you are hereby banned from the Lounge!) This is the greatest football movie of all time, hands down, end of discussion.